Sunday, March 11, 2012

The Monologue (The One of Turqoise Eyes - 5)

"It took you a while, my love. Strange that I mention a notion of time, for all this while time had been buried within me; I guess even time won’t be able to answer since when. Not because it does not know the answer, but because the answer needs to be spoken and I don’t permit anyone but myself to be heard and spoken. You can call me full of arrogance and insolence, but you won’t find a better lord of one’s self than me. I am, as they say, 'Nothing' and by virtue of being 'Nothing', I command an aura and presence, in front of which everyone else's presence not just dwindles down or fade away, but submits and submerges."

"But my love, you are not amongst those who got lost within my labyrinths. In fact, I am the one who is losing ‘me’ in your presence. And I wonder if it’s because you compel me to a situation like this or is it that I want to myself trudge this path of self destruction. And yes, destruction is not such a nice word to describe the whole sea of emotions that drowns me now. Who will believe this scenario, perhaps no one, because no one exists. How I wish that there was someone to witness this special occasion. Perhaps this is the only time I regret my entirety, my completeness."

"In some sense I am probably wrong to brag about my completeness. I always thought that I am complete, absolute in every sense and respect. All the more reason to be surprised at the state in which I find myself now, for perhaps there was always a yearning existing somewhere, a yearning whose presence was oblivious to me. How can that be? Perhaps it was easier for your presence to permeate even Nothingness, otherwise how could it ever happen to someone like me, the one who has made oneself devoid of all that is tangible and perceptible."

"You won’t believe if I tell you how happy I was with my mundane existence. You can call it life if you want, but fact is that I never even allowed my breath to escape from myself. And then it all changed. Not suddenly though. I cannot say if there was any sign or indication of it. No never. Not even when you stood on the bridge gazing intently at me. Not then. Not even when you opened your arms, perhaps to embrace me and took that leap, I believe a leap of faith, in expectation of me reciprocating. But somehow, somewhere amidst all this that change happened. I engulfed you or perhaps you engulfed me, who knows. But now I find myself melting within you. My vast nihility, my nonexistence is suddenly gaining a shape. Inch by inch, word by word, moment by moment, I conform, I become; I die. Yes I am approaching my death. And yet I have no qualms, fortunate is a lover who gets such a death, death in one's lover's arms. And as they used to say in those folktales of once, those which all got lost to me, even death couldn’t keep them apart; for they have by then become one."

"I give myself to you, my love, wholly, completely, thoroughly. From now on my love, this Nothingness ceases to exist for the world, for I have found a new existence, within you".

The Rainbow Bridge over Nothingness (The One of Turqoise Eyes - 4)

The Dream (The One of Turqoise Eyes - 3)
The One of Turqoise Eyes - 2

The One of Turqoise Eyes -1

1 comment:

Tata said...

Naya genre hai . romantic tragedy !!