Who has changed OUR Life??????????? ........................

Didnt write this one but I relate to whatever is written.
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When gulli-danda and kanche (marbles) were more popular than cricket ...

When we always had friends to play aais-paais (I Spy), chhupan-chhupai and pitthoo anytime ...

When we desperately waited for 'yeh jo hai jindagi', When chitrahaar, vikram-baitaal, dada daadi ki kahaniyaan were so fulfilling ... When there was just one tv in every five houses

When bisleris were not sold in the trains and we were worrying if papas will get back into the train in time or not when they were getting down at stations to fill up the water bottle ...

When we were going to bed by 9.00pm sharp except for the 'yeh jo hai jindagi' day ...

When Holis & Diwalis meant mostly hand-made pakwaans and sweets and moms seeking our help while preparing them....

When Maths teachers were not worried of our mummys and papas while slapping/beating us ...

When we were exchanging comics and stamps and chacha-chaudharis and billus were our heroes ...

When we were in nanihaals every summer and loved flying kites and plucking and eating unripe mangoes and leechis ...

When one movie every Sunday evening on television was more than asked for and 'ek do teen chaar' and 'Rajni' inspired us ...

When 50 paisa meant at least 10 toffees ...

When left over pages of the last years notebooks were used for rough work or even fair work ...

When 'chelpark' and 'natraaj' were encouraged against 'reynolds and family' ...

When the first rain meant getting drenched and playing in water and mud and making 'kaagaj ki kishtis'

When there were no phones to tell friends that we will be at their homes at six in the evening ...

When our parents always had 15 paise blue colored 'antardesis' and 5 paise machli wale stamps at home

When we remembered tens of jokes and were not finding 'ice-cream and papa' type jokes foolish enough to stop us from laughing ...

When we were not seeing patakhes on Diwalis and gulaals on Holis as air and noise polluting or allergic agents the list can be endless .................

On the serious note I would like to summarize with ...

When we were using our hearts more than our brains, even for scientifically brainy activities like 'thinking' and 'deciding' ...

When we were crying and laughing more often, more openly and more sincerily ...

When we were enjoying our present more than worrying about our future ...

When being emotional was not synonymous to being weak

When sharing worries and happiness's didn't mean getting vulnerable to the listener ...

When blacks and whites were the favourite colours instead of greys ...

When journeys also were important and not just the destinations ...

When life was a passenger's sleeper giving enough time and opportunity to enjoy the sceneries from its open and transparent glass windows instead of some super fasts second ac with its curtained, closed and dark windows ...

I really miss ........ do u??????????....???????????..................

An Evening's Dream

Here's a new one "An evening's dream". Dont know why I called it so, it could have been "A day's dream" or just "Daydream". But now that it has happened, so be it.
The idea behind this one is obvious, the dreams. We all daydream, me in particular a little too much. Some of these are fulfilled and some are not. But for me, they all do, if not in reality then in dreams. The ones that happen to you in that state of thinklessness called sleep, when all else cease to exist and what remains is dreams.
Frankly this wasn't the idea with which the lines were written, they just occured spontaneously. Three days later, as I re-read them now, the above idea makes more sense and may be more appropriate as well.

Vanished dreams of the daylight
will find their evening of realization
In the setting sun,
the golden sand and the falling leaves
sing a passion song,
for the one unknown.
No one feels lonely then,
for the moon rises above the hills
to talk to the distant stars,
and lying beneath the beautiful sky
You and I, in our respective worlds
dream with open eyes,
travel to imaginary lands
In a region of clouds
amongst the rainbows,
we talk of love
And as the night passes by
a feeling of thinklessness prevails
when just the dreams remain
and all else ceases to exist.

Burn - II

Is that what one sees
Charred pieces, ash and grease
Or does one
emerged pure
Cured of burdens
and the ghosts of the past
Bless you
My possessed soul
Are you ok now
Open up and talk
See the things
my way
Its all green and blue
everything's new
But what about happiness
And when given the option
to be the dead one
You wanted possession and prison
Its difficult to be free
Isn't it
then to be dead
or possessed
And we thought
someone burnt
But wasn't someone burning
All these years
Always.

Burn - I

Will burn someday
Just like that
Just for someone's sake
Somewhat faked up
and somewhat real
To see how it feels
Does something melt
Remember someone telling
How it felt
When its there
and when its gone
But would like to
Keep it going on
For your pleasure
and your pain
To remain
Forever.

( A Love Song Requires Effort )

How do I feel today
Couldn't have been better
For the moon is beautiful
& I can feel you smiling
This is a jasmine night
Like the one when I fell in love
and tomorrow when the sun comes up
I know I'll be seeing you
Charming just like the rose
My dreams sleep peacefully
in this winter's night
They'll wake up by the warmth of your sun
To rise above
Some realized and some just lost
Shall I curb my anxiety
Cos' someone tells me to do so
Tomorrow will come tomorrow
Till then
Let me write a love song
A song to sing for you.

My Sweet Lord

"Music touches you deep", dont know who said that but the there cannot be anything more true. Often I hear a few tunes and they just leave me spellbound. When George Harrison sung "My Sweet Lord", dont know who was the lord he was refering to. Was it the almighty or was it the lover. To me if there's ever a westernized version of sufiana music, the only song that can lay the claim is perhaps "My sweet lord". While listening to this song, many a times I felt connected, to the almighty, to the mother nature, to the ones I love. And yes true to the every word,

"I really want to see you lord,

but it takes so long, my lord"

Who is my lord, whom am I craving for, I dont know. May be I do but thats not important, important is the fact that music creates magic, a wave of positive vibrations gently swaying, making you aware of how good the life is, how good it is to be in love and to be loved.

Not surprising that I remember the feeling of love this day, somebody just whispered 'Happy Valentine's Day', well not to me though. So what am I left with, perhaps

My sweet lord

Hm, my lord

Hm, my lord

I really want to know you

Really want to go with you

Really want to show you lord

But it takes so long, my lord

In A Moment Of Doubt

Am I in love with you
Shouldn't I know it better
Or just like everything else
Let me regret it later
Wish you life
And lots of time
I'm not able to find it now
You might have taken it
Its for me to see
And to hear
Your music, your laughter
Place in my hand
That thing called fortune
I've lost mine
My words vibrate
Sometime your name
And some echoes are still left
So let them pass
Then I'll start
Questioning myself again
Am I in love with you
Or is it just a feeling
That will pass away with time
Just like you did.

Spring 2004

Anshul's trip to cicninnati

This one is from Anshul's trip to Cincinnati during last spring. I think this was my maiden trip to Newport. I remember I was still with the Residents Hall during those days and since it was vacation times, busy doing 40 hrs of job. Anshul was as always 'kutto type', he still is. My plans to going to Maryland have not materialized yet, may be coming spring.
Talks with Chul over phone have offlate become sparse, I busy with one thing or the other and he with his job hunt. Hopefully he'll get a job soon.
Talking about Anshul, 28th was Qu's b'day. Anshul as usual used the occasion, the way we say it "Quuuyaami ki bahut li". Well me to was not behind. But Qu never minds, he doesnt have one you see :)).

First Snow

December 13th, '04
Cincinnati is experiencing the first snows of the winter since yesterday. There is a shade of white intermittent all over the greens making me realize that there's still some greenery left. The green appears to be more glowing, may be I never noticed before. May its the final glow before a give up. As the color of peace continues to take over and the wind continues to grow chilling and menacing, the trees are shedding their final leaves. A brief spell of sunlight, as the sun struggles its way way amongst the clouds to have a look at the earth, results in a wonder only mother nature is capable of. Its beauty beyond words, wonder how nature can lend beauty to a setting as artificial as this; a man made jungle of concrete with conciously laid down grass and trees. And then, just like every miracle, this one too lasts for a moment, the sun hides again and we are back to reality. The snow continues and a tinge of sad gloom prevails over the campus.

December 14th, '04
Seems like it has snowed the whole night. The white which was only intermittent a day before is now starting to dominate the green finally signalling the arrival of yet another winter. I have taken out my winter jacket and so have others. Who wants to take the warth of winter's fury. Like it or not, the time has come to welcome the winter, grateful that it delayed its arrival.

Complete Strangers

What prevents you from being happy
With my happiness
I know you are human
But its easy to be god sometimes
God and good
Too much to ask for
Ain't I human myself
A bad one too
But lets overcome
Good, bad
Lets be free of it
You be you and me myself
And no likings
For you and your deeds
No dislikes either
Pure and without feelings
How I wish it could have been easy
Just like that
To be complete strangers.

Shine on me

Shine a light on me
It's been quite some time
Digging deeper and deeper
and all one sees
Dark and gloom
Know what
This wont be happening
Without you
So shine a light on me
Jungles and jungles
to bring down
And a few ghosts to bury
While the train whistles past
Somewhere away
Dont let the moment slip by
Just like that
Shine a light on me
Before your fire dies
Leaving you to cry
Like me
Why waste my tears
When you can hear
My distant shouts
Come now
My saviour, lead me
Wont you shine a light on me

Rights & Wrongs : If There's Ever Anything Like That

Rights Became Wrong

Minutes Kept Wasting

Over The Phone

And The Sweet Home

We Built

Blew In The Storm

One Night

When Dreams Got Over

The Other Morning

Woke Up And Realized

Rights Were Rights

Wrongs Were Wrong

All The Same

Nothing Changed

Except

Me & You

Haphazard

Scribbing A Few Notes

Scratching

Trying To Think

The Writting Reflects

My Mind

Turbulence

I Bend Forward

On My Table

Concentrate

Swing The Chair

Wandering Again

Thoughts

Pain, Agitation

Heart Consoles

Time To Move On

Leave Imagination

Irritation

Calm Down

Get On With The Work

Heaven - Salvation - Destination ------ Illusion

I'm Going To Heaven

Troubled At Twenty Seven

Nothing Is Concrete

& All Things Must Pass

With My Blurred Visions Intact

Take Care Of Them

If You Can

Or Just Leave

As I'm

In Course Of Time

They'll Be Another Man's Dream

For Now Let Me Go

Dont Make Me Late

For My Salvation

Going To My Destination

I Was Mistaken

By Illusions

So I Leave

And If You Think Otherwise

Correct Me

If I'm Wrong

If I Return

Empty As I Am

From My Heaven

Strange Times

Strange times indeed. Just like the theme of the Moody Blue's album by the same name. At a time when I should rather be worried about whether my preparation for the qualifiers is going on as per my plans or not, I'm suffering from my usual attacks of nostalgia.
Thursdays have become a routine. Come to the Annie law's lab, pass some time checking mails and latest Chelsea news and then day dream 'googling' (thats a new word that I have coined for continuous searching on google) on the Himalayas, a search which I know is beyond these virtual html pages.
Offlate BIT and associated things have also become a part of my 'googling' stuff. Many a times the information that I found while surfing over BIT leaves me amazed. Other day came across the web page of a senior of ours, name was Hema if I'm not wrong. She had so many publications on her name and yes a very good research associated too. Made me real happy to see a fellow BITian scaling greater heights and making all of us proud with his/her achievements.
Listening to Strange Times and my mind continues to wander more or less thinking on the very lines the moodies sing

What do we need
What do we hunger for
Who holds the secrets,
who will know

And yes strange times cos I continue to look back at years gone by when perhaps I should be looking more at the future. I havent stopped feeling young altogether but as i said just a few hallucinations, illusions might be the right word.

Blueguitar

As The Blues Took Over Me
I Laid Down
Waiting For Someone To Caress Me
To Touch Those Strings
And Play The Music
To Which The Moon Dances Slowly
In Its Silvery Light
And The Ocean Sings The Song
With The Breeze Whistling Along

I Long For Someone
To Pick Me Up In His Arms
And As His Fingers Kiss Me Gently
A Song Is Born
Deep From The Heart
Which For The Ages
People Remember
As The Song Of The BLUEGUITAR